I felt a bit ragged the day had dealt me a few curved balls and my emotions were on overdrive. I was not sure if I should burst into tears or simply calm down and ride the wave. There was not much I could do about the circumstances. I walked in the door and poured myself a drink and just simply sank into my couch. I closed my eyes and took myself back to all the incidences that had led me to this point.
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Follow up:
Just when you think you have worked through things, something will always pop up to allow yourself to see either how far you have come or how much you still have to work through. Years of silence suddenly became an orchestra of voices clambering for attention. I have been single for time enough to begin to want someone else that would simply be there. Someone to soak up the day with, and be there whether I was in an even mood or the odd times that I am simply introspective and listening to the earth. All these things came jumbling through me because of my dog being run over, kept at a vet for a week and was now home. And all I wanted was someone to just hold me and love me. A deep longing washed over me…
How far must one search for someone, it seems that all the self validation and love for oneself is simply not enough? Is that all that seems to drive one when disaster hits big or small? I am more than a little irritate with myself. Why was I not able to simply deal with it like I did with everything else. It’s a combination of wanting the mother to soothe and say its OK, a lover to kiss the tears away. I hugged my dog closer and nuzzled into his warmth, hoping that I would one day thank him for all the emotions that ran through my heart and head.
Such a tight rope between of wanting and the frustration, sometimes the answers will not come.
This story was written by RiverGoddess more of their stories can be found on [restricted content]